Initiation
by Aislinn Graves
Summary: Ezra faces his greatest trial.   Shadowrun AU set in the same universe as Fortune's Hostage.


Initiation

Aislinn

The bonfire lit up the small clearing, its light flickering, alternately highlighting and hiding the surrounding trees, the shadows dancing and playing like children. Overhead the night sky was black velvet awash with diamond dust. Ezra stood beside the fire, barefoot and clad only in a pair of buckskin leggings and feather armbands, gifts from his team for this occasion. He took a deep breath and gathered his courage and his magic.

He was alone here in the wilderness, and if he failed his team would come in the morning and gather his body for burial. But tonight was the culmination of a year long ritual and he had no intention of failing, in his heart he knew he was ready. As an Initiate his connection to Fox would be even stronger, giving him a deeper understanding of magic, and access to new spells and abilities that he would never have dreamed of attempting before. That would help his team and therefore was worth the risk.

He set the wards around the clearing; these would keep his body safe while he was on the astral plane, warning off any predators that might wander too close. Ready at last, he sat down cross-legged in the inscribed circle and closed his eyes, he pulled his drum onto his lap and began to play an ancient heartbeat rhythm. He drifted into a light trance as he played and then, leaving his body behind, he stepped into the astral plane.

Ezra was standing in the astral counterpart to the material world in a clearing next to a roaring bonfire. He turned his head and watched the fire dance, twisting and turning in the night. Pictures appeared in the flames, and he recognized scenes from his past; his mother talking to a tall redheaded man, Ezra perched on her hip, clutching her blouse in his small fists. His first day at school and the black eye he came home with after a bully knocked down a little girl and with no thought, Ezra head-butted him in the gut to knock him off of her. The scene changed again and he was a gawky teen kissing his first girlfriend, their teeth knocking together and no clue where to put his hands.

Then the most important event in his life, that glorious day, the day his whole life changed when he had been sitting in the park and looked over to see a small fox watching him from under a bush. And then… then the fox stood up and paced to sit in front of him and spoke, mischievousness evident in its tone, "Come play with me." Ezra smiled in remembrance.

The images began to move faster and became darker. His first days in basic training, becoming a pilot, Wildcard was born and died with his REO in the engagement that left him with nightmares, dreams of fire and pain and loss that had him waking in a cold sweat, his throat raw from his screams. Tears cascaded down his face as he once again mourned the loss of his friend.

He forced himself to continue watching the fire, smiling through his tears as he recognized his team, six vastly different men that became his family, his brothers.

Chris, their stoic leader who wore black in memory of his murdered wife and child, and had an unwavering willingness to kill or die to protect his team. Vin the quiet one, his partner in pranks whose hidden streak of mischievousness matched his own. Josiah, with the heart of a philosopher, his dual nature of deep compassion and vicious violence ebbing and flowing as if Cain and Abel fought a constant battle for his soul. Nathan, whose compassionate nature and love of healing had been tempered by the harsh realities faced in their Awakened World. Buck whose fierce devotion and loyalty to his chosen family was like a force of nature, unstoppable, at times savage, and overwhelming. Lastly their youngest brother JD, whose frightening intellect was balanced by boundless energy and his never-ending wonder with the world.

At last the images slowed, matching his heartbeat, and finally settled on the glowing form of Fox. She turned her head and stared into his eyes, her gaze filled with the wisdom of the ages and the innocence of a child. Her voice filled his mind, and set his blood to singing. "Ezra." He shuddered in visceral ecstasy as the single word rang like chiming bells through his soul. She held out a fiery paw, inviting him to dance with her. For the briefest moment, no more time than it took to take a single breath, he hesitated. If his will faltered for even a split second he would go up in flames as surely as the wood being consumed on the material plane. But he could no more deny her than he could deny his need for air. He took the offered paw and stepped into the roaring conflagration.

Searing… scorching... Ezra threw his head back and screamed his agony to the sky. He writhed in the essence of the fire as it consumed him.

Fox watched him dispassionately. "Do you wish it to end?"

He panted, trying to draw enough breath to answer her. "Yes," he groaned.

"Which of these will you give me to end your torment, Ezra?" She indicated the frozen images of his team.

He looked at her in shock. Surely he had misheard, but she continued to watch him. He searched her eyes, desperately looking for a reprieve but there was no wavering in her glance, no retreat, no mercy. "No. Ask anything else of me Fox. I will give you my very soul. But you cannot have them."

"No? Would you stay here…burn in everlasting torment… for mere men such as these?"

Ezra nodded mutely, his eyes begging her understanding.

"Would you give up magic instead? Give up… me? " She watched him curiously.

For a moment he hovered on the edge of the abyss, staring into the eyes of eternity and it was found wanting. He searched his heart. Yes, he would stand his ground, pay any price, even give up all that defined him to protect his brothers, and while he reeled with loss at the thought, there was no regret. "Yes."

A flash of heat filled his soul and for a heartbeat he danced in the core of the sun. A void filled him where once _she_ had stood as his magic was ripped away. He howled his despair to the heavens and dropped to his knees in the flames weeping, the sobs tearing his throat like shards of glass. A gentle hand took his chin in a silken grip and he looked up into her smiling face. He drank in the sight of her, knowing this memory would be all he had to sustain him for the rest of his life.

"Devotion worthy of Dog, courage worthy of Wolf. But you are mine, my Ezra," she murmured. She pulled him to his feet and brushed his forehead, his cheeks and his mouth with the merest whisper of a kiss.

Hope filled his battered heart and the fire withdrew as blessed relief spread over his spirit with each word. The void dissipated and he reveled in the return of her presence within his soul. His eyes met hers in mute appeal. "Fox? I don't understand."

She smiled. "Ezra, there is no greater sacrifice than that of self."

M7M7M7

A/N ~ For Alex… Thank you.


End file.
